Being Poor

It sucks bad. Real bad.

Very recently, C left me with her Latin lover along with all my money. I knew this was coming; I just thought my plan of having her get killed on a cruise would come before she could launder my bank account.

The bad thing about doing business in Singapore is that you could never really trust anyone. All my business partners have abandoned me, my clients left me and my overpaid workers suing me. It has been one tough ride.

I'm now living in a 600 sq/ft apartment with two FAT & SPOILED COLLEGE BRATS! I am no racists but even I would agree of their ignorance.

Moving on,

I'm not giving up. I'll eventually get my shit straight make a much bigger comeback very soon.

Sex With Carlotta

About a year ago my whore of a girlfriend dumped me for some waiter (how low can one get)...on New Year's eve! - she should've done it on Christmas! I was all alone at Zouk having that fourth shot of tequila when a drunken woman approached me to the dance floor and I foolishly obliged even though she smelled like a slut. Then again, all women at these places are sluts.

The biggest fucking mistake I've ever done in my life! Because she was just playing drunk.

That bitch slipped a pill into one of my countless drinks and RAPED me at her apartment.

Took photos of me being 'inappropriate' and threatened to post it to all my clients. I had no choice but to make her my business partner and wife and me, her toy.

Oh god! What have I done in my past life to deserve such fate? I've always been a good Samaritan!

Anyways, as she shops around Singapore every day with her best friends Ms. Fakeboobs and Aunt Botox, I'm earning less and less.

I'll never be able to buy that sailboat!

We have an open marriage so the bitch is pretty much sleeping with every dick in Singapore (even tourists) and I with every intern that sneaks through my office door.

With her though, I have to admit, the sex is good.

Very good.

Hong Kong was fucking terrible

Let me tell you something about Hong Kong citizens....they're disgusting! One time I went to a KFC and the food looked like splattered shit.

Which is tpo say I just returned from Hong Kong on a business trip. It was a hilarious business deal actually. Those Cantons thought they could persuade me into give them a better deal for a lesser price by treating me to an expensive restaurant. I'm like hello? I'm not as stupid as most of you!

You'll never get those obvious tricks to work in Singapore. Here, we do things differently. I personally like the blackmail method but some of us prefer resorting to sexual advances or giving them advantage in foolishly still Malaysia. Some of us, like me, even learn a little psychiatric persuasion to get tender sometimes. If you've lived in Singapore as a successful person as I am, it never hurts to spy your competitor and use their personal secrets against them.

Going back to Hong Kong. There's nothing useful there, I hate the tourism spot and things were fucking expensive. Stupid Chinese idiots! I wanted to go to one of the brothels when my mood required it but I was afraid that their chicks were too dirty on their insides.

Shanghai is much much better. I might as well go there next time and tell those fucking Cantons to fly there as well if there's ever a need to have a ridiculous one on one meeting.

P/S: I've told them about the video conferencing technology but these idiots can never seem to understand what that means. The only reason I'm doing this shit is because it will gain me a foothold in Chinese waters.

Fucked Up Clients

I don't understand why you assholes just keep asking me stupid questions!

When I say I don't do something, I don't comprende? Why do you fuckers still insist me in doing something I do not want to do?

Every time. Every time one of my clients who comes to me begging me to help setup their business, they would always ask me about advertising which, btw, is not in the fucking contract they signed! Like WTF did you actually read that piece of shit?

Because customer is always right, I sometimes give them advertising tips that I just made up in this brilliant mind of mind. If their business fail to golden then it's not my fault. You motherfuckers have been warned!

I thought, since 70% of my clients always end-up asking "do you do advertising?" with hopeful bobbling heads but with empty wallets, I thought, if I do advertising, I can actually charge extra fees upon them and of course, rake in cash from my competitors.

With this decision, I decided to study advertising in one flexible college. Who knows, I might even find some 'friends' I could take advantage of. These brats would do anything for a few hundred bucks and I can actually fire some of my staff that's been eating all my money lately and replace them with these talented fools....and if one day they plan to quit hahaha well...let's just say they'll never get a job in SG.

Hello you Fucking Old Blog. I'm back!

Aha! I'm back from a year of MIA.

What fucking happened? What went on during the shit ass year long period?

Well, of course I'm not going to tell you all of it but let me give you a gist of all the dirty details:

1. I quit my job six months ago. Yes the job I mentioned in my previous post. But I did achieve some things before leaving that useless hole such as making sure all the people I hated working with left before I did. Also, I created a scandalous scheme to get my superior FIRED! Ahahahaha serves him right to mess with me.
2. I'm now working as a financing freelancer (no more details than that) and also providing therapy for all the proven losers out there. I mean, these people can't solve their problems and expect me to solve them? What the fuck! I have problems too you know but since you insist, I don't mind the $80 to hear you whine!
3. I moved out from my house to a nicer apartment here in Orchard Road with cheap rent! I had to blackmail the owner to get the deal. He might feel bad about it but I think that's better than his wife knowing about his slap dancing partner.

And you know what's more amazing? After more than a year missing, this blog still gets traffic! I'm like what the hell? You people really don't have lives don't you? Might as well go back to your mom's armpits, assholes. See you next time!

am I not Good Enough!

My colleagues and I were sent to a two week advertising course organized by a so called company from the US. On the first day of briefing, the iron lady facilitator told us that every everyone must have a D SLR. Furious, I said to her 'Hey bitch, that has nothing to do with the work I'm doing'. Faking politeness she answered 'It's part of the training' and that was it. Shit! where am I going to get that much money to buy that camera. I then called my company and asked if they could lend me theirs. All my boss could say was, we're using every single one of them. I then realized I'm working in a dumpster! The bad day ain't over yet -
I shared a hotel room with one of the participants and I didn't knew he was a sex maniac before he asked me if I brought any sex films with me. I was so angry I told him to shut the fuck up before I threw him out the window. Damn! If I was to have fun with myself, I'd do it with a girl or a street prostitute but definitely not in front of this bisexual looking guy. If any fucking bad thing happens to me again tomorrow, I'll quit my job and start looking for a more decent one - although Singapore is a fucking hard place to find work.

My Fucking Deaf Neighbor!

I really can't stand it, everytime my neighbor watches tv (18 hours everyday), he'd turn the volume like the sound of war in Iraq. If I have hearing disabilities after this you'd know who's fucking ass to blame. This fucking bastard can't stop watching boring Chinese shows aired on god knows what channel until I can't even sleep sometimes and had to put pillows all over my head. I just moved in the neighborhood and alreay I have to buy earmuffs! For now I won't call the cops. When I do, I'll make sure he gets a full ear check in the prison hospital!